Home sweet (finally) home

IT'S A MIRACLE. THEY'VE DONE IT. They started my surgery ON TIME!!  It was scheduled for Thursday at 8:30am AND started at 8:30am… the stars have aligned! Including those in my stomach constellation from the medications shot into my abdomen!

Well. This couldn't be a more intensive few days! My. Incredible surgical team rolled me down right on time, and knocked me out with anesthesia right on time. Even better, one of my team members had worked on me in a previous operation, and remembered I like music, so he brought a mix tape to the OR!

 Fast forward a few hours, and I am awake in the recovery unit with a few missing blobs of my right lobe. We lefties are very defensive of our strong side, so they didn't even touch my left lobe.

me, Grid (my bear), my parents, and AMANDA!

The first day of recovery in post-OP was very painful. My scientific word for describing the pain was "stabby", as it felt like the staple gun continued to drive its mini bullets into my head. Any kind of headache is to be expected, but it will only last a few days! Hallelujah!  Plus, Thanks to a family friend, I no longer have to deal with naming my new bear. He was named from my EMU nickname: Grid. And so, the name has stuck.

My fashion sense was also upgraded in the ICU Pt: 2. The amazing surgical team WASHED MY HAIR and put it into a cute little braid under my hospital hipster beanie. Plus, I eventually changed into Christmas Space Cats sweatshirt to really give them something to talk about. I already Beyoncé=walked down the halls in a Physical Therapy check the previous surgery, so I knew my sweatshirt could only add to the applause that the medical team had already given me. And yes, it did. My reputation had only grown.

And now? I AM HOME!!!!  I was showing such signs of life and recovery, that even my Frankenscars couldn't stop my release! As you can see, my hair has already grown a fairly significant amount in just 1 week on that shaved side, so after my post-op staple removal, all I will need is strategic hairdos to cover the blank space. There's a reason the STAPLES has the "easy button."

my backup brain

 I've also found my entire brain, fully within reach. So during recovery, should Netflix, Whose Line, or Pixar become too complex, I have a backup organ to ensure full enjoyment.

I shall maybe also somewhat get a better sense of time, as I have recently have retained no memory of the date, time, or day of the week. Post-surgery confusion is worse than daylight savings!

And finally, I am freed from a hospital bed. Sure those beds recline in every way possible, but they also constantly beep, can potentially roll away, and catch every crumb of saltine cracker that you drop. I have just spent the night in my own REAL BED, donated unwillingly by my older brother Joey!

So now what? For the first few weeks I'll be taking it easy, no jumping or excessive force, no vacuuming, and plenty of naptime. They also told me I should not be lifting more than 10 pounds at a time…a rule that I will have no trouble following, since my “arm days” usually capped at about 6lbs max.

Once I start picking up again, I'll continue a job hunt, and have closer cuddly time with my cat (never gets old). I will also begin the countdown to a valid license. 3 years of no driving shall soon be over, and I will begin to prepare an exciting inaugural trip to celebrate my release from the chains of Uber and chauffeur!

With a job hunt, I have recently been lucky, and a job agency that I have worked with before has gotten back to me about a potential job opportunity!! I have my fingers crossed.

Overall, life is getting back together! Thank you to the incredible number of friends and family that have sent prayers and support of some kind, it certainly brought a smile to my face, and at a time that my jaw was NOT swollen. T’was perfectly timed!

My doctors were extremely pleased with how well the operation went, and this time, my eyeball stayed a normal size instead of swelling up to a Balloon diameter. My Beyoncé strut down the hall apparently still inspired my nurse team AND I will soon be able to see the true shaved hairstyle. I was also told that these headaches will start to lessen soon, and that yes! I CAN take showers and baths now!

The medical perks go beyond just an edgy haircut…I have 90% chance of a decrease in seizures, a 60% chance of having none at all, ever again, AND apparently my memory may come back! So to anyone whose name I have forgotten, apologies, and I should get better!

Finally, now that I’ve made it home…no more operations, no more IVs, and only more appointment to wrap this treatment up. This insane adventure is coming to a close, and hopefully so have my seizures!! All that's left is to add this to my resume "special skills," then wait, recover, and petition for my Ellen appearance, after practicing some dance moves!!

Feel free to keep sending this blog to Ellen!  ;)